When Does Your Doula Join you for the Birth?
One of the questions I get all the time as a birth doula is: “When should we call you?”
There is so much packed into this question; “How do we know it’s the Real Deal?”, not wanting to call too early, or too late, wanting to know the scope and parameters of the doula’s work. Unsurprisingly, given the unpredictability of birth, this can be a complicated question to answer!
And different doulas have different answers.
Some doulas plan to only come to support you once “Active Labor” starts. This can protect the doulas' time and prevent them from spending long hours supporting early labor, making them worn out by the time that labor speeds and intensifies. I understand this approach, but it’s not mine and here’s why:
Active Labor can be hard to define - Yes, we have lots of rules of thumb for what constitutes Active Labor, but all of those rules can be broken. If you wait for the contractions to reach a certain frequency your doula can come too early OR too late. If you wait for a certain dilation measurement first you’ll need someone to be able to check their cervix, and second your doula could STILL come too early OR too late.
This doesn’t take into account the birthing person’s needs. Sometimes, in order to get into Active Labor, the client needs a calming, reassuring presence. They may need suggestions for comfort measures or new positions.
So what is my approach? I tell my clients to call me when they need me. I may offer to show up in early labor to help out if early labor is lasting a long time. There are a few things this does:
It can relieve the partner for some much needed food and rest.
It can help the laboring person get rest, by helping them get more relaxed and comfortable.
I can bring in SpinningBabies® techniques to try (that I have demonstrated ahead of time) that may help the labor to speed up.
I can better assess the pattern of the labor and think of a plan for next steps.
For a hospital birth this means that I can join you in your home when it’s too early to be at the hospital to help you with ideas, coping measures, and assessing when to leave for the hospital. For Birth Center and homebirths I can help you communicate with your midwife team and convey updates.
I have been in situations where I was able to help the laboring person get comfortable enough to s-l-e-e-p and that meant they could have more stamina for their long early labor. I have had situations in which I gave the laboring person some movements to do and their long early labor turned into very active labor!
Check with your doula to find out when they suggest you call and what goes into that decision-making!
